Diary of Gerald the Snail

Day 247

I have reached the garden shed. It took me four months. The shed was thirty feet away.

I am now resting against a flowerpot. My trail behind me is a testament to perseverance. Also mucus.

A ladybug passed me today. She did not even acknowledge the effort. I have decided I do not care. I will think about caring tomorrow.

Tomorrow I may try to reach the other side of the shed. This is an ambitious goal. I am setting myself up for disappointment.

My shell itches but I cannot scratch it. This is the cruelest joke in nature.